Recently I have been observing a very peculiar phenomenon. When dating, have you ever had the experience of finding it positively unattractive when a potential partner is ‘too interested’?
Why is that?! Surely having someone interested in you, attracted to you, should be a good thing, especially if they do well in other areas. Just this past week, I had a friend recount to me the result of a recent date. The person was incredible on paper, ticked all the boxes, shared so many things in common, but he was just ‘far too keen’.
When this happens to me, others often tell me I’m too picky, or that I’m taking her for granted. They tell me it’s actually a really good situation and I should count myself lucky to have a beautiful woman doting on me. (Or even interested in me at all! Thanks for the vote of confidence guys! – yes, that was sarcastic). There are so many out there who would absolutely love to find someone who likes them back so passionately. So, what’s the problem?
I call this ‘The Problem of the Puppy Dog’. They love you with all their heart. They would do anything for you. They will lick your face and generously show you affection all day long. Dogs are the epitome of loyalty and love beyond words. Wouldn’t it be great to find a wife just as loyal and affectionate?
Well, for me personally, the answer is no, not at all. I’m looking for someone who challenges me to be the best I can be, not a puppy dog who will accept me without question. If I wanted unconditional faithful obedience I would go out and buy myself a real puppy. It can sound like a dream or a fantasy to have a partner that would do absolutely anything for you. But here’s the catch. I would love my puppy to pieces, but our relationship would not be reciprocal.
Think about who is looking after who? It’s the master who has all the responsibility. I’m the one who feeds and cares for my dog. When times are tough and I am tired I can never expect any help. Ultimately it’s all up to me. She may be obedient and serve me diligently, but at the end of the day, it is a relationship of utter dependence.
I don’t want a wife who depends solely on me and who does not have the capacity to ever support me. Instead, I want a real partner, someone who will be with me in good times and bad. She leans on me, I lean on her, and together we are stronger.
Maybe not everyone is looking for a relationship of equals, but for those of us who are, puppy dogs (as adorable as they are), will always be inherently unsuitable romantic partners.